this morning

lying in bed
you lift your tiny hand
to catch the stream of sunlight
that passes overhead
chubby fingers pass through air
you try again
there's nothing there
your sister laughs
"he's trying to catch the sun"

Why I love parenting magazines...

...because I learn great tricks like pouring maple syrup on snow, letting it harden and eating it, because I found the world's best tomato soup recipe with grilled cheese croutons that even I can make, because I get to hear other mommy stories and have my questions answered by M.D.'s, and because they sometimes bring up things that I might disagree with but can hear another voice and, because I can read a snippet here and there between being a mommy.
Unfortunately, I just learned that "Wondertime" one of my FAVORITE parenting magazines is going the way of my previous favorite which was "Violet" magazine. Damn economy!

Two Months

So it's been 2 months since I've blogged. So much can happen in 2 months. Aria can get glasses (which she loves) while Mommy and Daddy attend a Christmas reception at the White House. (Still seems very surreal). Azur can get 2 teeth, his first fever, and begin the army crawl...a really fast army crawl at that. Thanksgiving, Christmas, the end of '08, all come and go. Babies are born, unions are made, snow falls. Hair can fall to the ground with the snip of scissors and other things can get snipped too. Aria can say things like, "It was nice of that man (assuming it was a man) to give his body to BodyWorlds after he died so that we can see that smoking is bad for you." along with 100's of other wonderful thoughts that I just didn't record before they slipped through my very forgetful brain.....a LOT can happen in 2 months....

While voting yesterday...

...Aria kept asking all the volunteers who they were voting for. They of course weren't saying. They'd say things like "the next president" "the winner" and she kept it up, "But WHO?!!" finally, a woman said, "John McCain" and Aria said, "but he wants the war to keep going. You should vote for Barack Obama. He wants to end the war." That's my girl! And if you know Aria, you know that this is absolutely without coaching.

Aria said...

As we were driving together as a family and laughing, Aria proclaimed, "We've got a noisy car of happiness over here!"

Blood, Fertility, & Magic Show

The Venue:

The Artists:

The "Blood, Fertility & Magic" show that I participated in with Melissa Bond, Sara Caldiero-Ortlei, and Cat Palmer 3 weeks before Azur was born won an Arty Award in City Weekly for "Gutsiest (ahem) Spoken-Word show" http://www.slweekly.com/index.cfm?do=article.details&id=4DD0349D-14D1-13A2-9F31ACF77F3477D5Here are my paintings of the poets, and, their poetry that inspired the paintings:

This first one is by Melissa:

Dear Little Fish,
There are a myriad of names I could call you – Little Papaya and Minor Oblongata being the most current endearments – but of late you’ve felt so very aquatic and I the aquarium, that it seems inevitable that I revert to the watery, the oceanic.Let me introduce myself. We are, of course, well acquainted in the most primal of arrangements, but if I’m to understand your orientation correctly, I am, at present merely the invisible water in which you swim. I am the alpha to your omega, the Escher staircase to your stair. I am the mystic flute that you hear as if echoing through a cavern. You don’t yet know that the flute has a player or that she has a name.So, a formal introduction: Hello, Little Fish. I’m your mother. I am She of the Rubber Room. That’s right, rubber room – the one you’ve been playing tennis against. I am the deep bass wall that resonates with every thwack and swing of your racket. And let me say, you’re quite the player – merciless- you’d have that slick-haired Fedderer weeping into his shoes in that house in Dubai. You’d have the gussied, white-trousered Wimbledon crowd on their feet- roaring- pulling their hair out like flowers and throwing the strands at your feet.

I’d like to mention that while I know my condolences can never assuage the utter confusion and magic of living in this world, I want you to know that I will always be there (in soul if not in body) to stand next to you, heart thundering in the chest like a freight train. Because even if I wanted to save you from the knives of this world, which I do, but I can’t, I know that it’s inevitable that you will split your spleen against it at times. You will fall occasionally to those medieval humours, you will have your Little Fish heart broken and broken again …and much as I will yearn to superglue you and place you in a hermetically sealed room …I know that I can only hand you the needle and thread with which to sew your heart back together. This is the love that I’m to learn, Little Fish. The love of letting you break, the love of grief and praise like a language of blood in the body, the love of letting you run giddy and stumbling into the world without me being there at every moment to protect you.

Because- I don’t know if they told you this at the gate or if you listened, but the Hoo Rah! Superhero’s Guidebook for Living on Earth has been backordered since 1923. Rumor has it that a copy (immistakable with its mossy green cover and shape like a candy bar) was last seen sticking out of Martin Luther King’s pocket on that fateful day in Memphis in 1968. The book, like King, was never recovered and there hasn’t been a copy seen since. Which makes you wonder. We’re to go at it, the whole of us, without a single chapter telling us where to go in case of emergency or how to deal with stomach upset or profound loss or the tsunamis of love that pummel our shoreline.

And just so you know, my greatest strength thus far lies in my interest in the uncertainties of this world. I do not rail against them and I wouldn’t advise you doing so. It only causes indigestion and it makes the world a much less pretty place. I believe that my father, your grandfather, a southern gentleman with dandyish proclivities had it right. It’s best to sit upon the porch of the world with a glass of cold mint tea and watch the pageantry with awe struck eyes. Only then will the world come to you. Only then will it roll over and break open at your feet.We will meet soon, Little Fish.I’ll wait for you on the porch, broken open with a milktruck at my chest.Until then.

This one is by Sara:

Sleeping on your
Placenta pillow

You dream about
Growing a mouth
To speak words from
Ears to hear the beating
Of drums
Your stump of an arm
Can bend and wave
The paddle
That will form a hand.

And here is my third piece, a fertility box:

And finally, the artists now (showing off baby bums in g diapers):

Drafted 9/7/08

laying down with Aria tonight to get her to sleep. We say "thankful for animals". After Aria states what she's thankful for (which was our family), I say to her, "thank you for being my little girl." She says, "thank you for being my mommy friend." "thank you for taking me on dates." 

 This, is what being a mommy is all about.

Babes for Obama

 It started one day last spring while driving Aria home from school. She and I were talking about the state of Washington and how some of her cousins lived there when she said, "Hey Mom, George Washington was our first president." "That's right" I replied very impressed that my 4-year-old knew such facts. She continued, "..and George Bush is our president now. And, Barack Obama is our next president." Now, I'm reeaallly impressed.

 Fast forward to today. While driving in the car Michelle Obama is being interviewed on NPR about her upcoming introduction of her husband at the convention tonight. Aria and I get to talking about him and his family (she's very excited that he has 2 little girls and is wondering when she can go to their house and play with them) when she asks what does the president do and why does he want to be president. After my brief explanation I tell her that both Barack Obama and John McCain are trying to be our next president then ask her who she would like to win. She answers, "I want Barack Obama, not Bruce Wayne!" (I promise we did NOT let her see The Dark Knight) 

Azur's a big supporter and bought a lot of cookies at the bake sale for Obama!